A mid-year’s resolution: Vow now to keep living healthy

Today is the last day of the sixth month of 2008, which means the year is half over. Six months down, six to go. Wow, time flies so fast!

This is a good time to reassess your goals for this year. Did you make a New Year's resolution? Take another look at it. How are you doing with it? Are you sticking to your plans? Did you falter?

Whatever your resolution may have been, if you have faltered, it's not too late to get back on track.

Do you have other changes you wish to make in your life? Make them now. Don't wait until next year.

If you take a look at your goals for this year and feel down on yourself because you have failed to meet those goals, don't despair. Remember, 2008 is only half over. You still have six months to go!

Resolve to make the last half of 2008 better than the first!

So, what's your mid-year's resolution? I'd like to know. I'll give you some of mine in my next post.

Bagels: What’s really in them?

This is my second in an occasional series of posts where I will examine the ingredients in one of the foods I eat on a regular basis. In my first post on coffee creamer, I mentioned that I do pretty well with staying away from too many processed or high-fat foods.

But still, as I examine the ingredients in the foods I eat, I am discovering that I can do better. And that's what living a healthy life is all about. Always doing better.

This time, I'll take on bagels. I specifically eat Thomas' Whole Wheat Bagels. I really like the texture and taste, but what about the ingredients? What am I really eating?

I searched Thomas' Web site, and I found the product listings for all of their varieties of bagels and other foods, including the whole wheat bagels. However, they did not have their ingredients, nor their nutrition information, listed. To find that, I have to look at a package of bagels.

First, let's look at the nutrition facts. One bagel has 240 calories, 2 grams of total fat, of which 0.5g is saturated, 400 mg sodium, 49 grams of carbs, of which 7 grams is dietary fiber, and 10 grams of protein.

Next, the ingredients, in the order in which they are listed.

Whole wheat flour. From Wikipedia: a powdery substance derived by grinding or mashing the wheat's whole grain. It is used in baking, but typically added to other "white" flours to give nutrition (especially fiber and protein), texture, and body to the finished product. The word "whole" refers to the fact that all of the grain (bran, germ, and endosperm) is used and nothing is lost in the process of making the flour.

Water. Good ol' H20. I hope I don't need to define this one.

Flaked wheat. The only place I could find definitions of flaked wheat specifically were in reference to brewing beer. From How to Brew, unmalted wheat is a common ingredient in wheat beers. It adds starch haze and high levels of protein.

Wikipedia does have an entry on wheat, which is defined as a staple food used to make flour for leavened, flat and steamed breads; cookies, cakes, pasta, noodles and couscous; and for fermentation to make beer, alcohol, vodka or biofuel.

Sugar. An ingredient we're all familiar with. Here's what Wikipedia says: Sugar is a class of edible crystalline substances including sucrose, lactose, and fructose. Common table sugar (sucrose) is made from sugar beets or sugar cane.

Yeast. Most of us are familiar with yeast, and we at least know that it is used to make bread rise. Thus, it makes sense that it would be in bagels. But what is yeast? Wikipedia defines it as a growth form of eukaryotic microorganisms classified in the kingdom Fungi ... The yeast species Saccharomyces cerevisiae has been used in baking and fermenting alcoholic beverages for thousands of years.

Wheat gluten. From Wikipedia: Wheat gluten is a made from the gluten of wheat by washing wheat flour dough with water until all the starch dissolves, leaving insoluble gluten as a gummy mass, which is subject to further processing.

Wheat bran. From Wikipedia: Bran is the hard outer layer of grain and consists of combined aleurone and pericarp. Along with germ, it is an integral part of whole grains, and is often produced as a by-product of milling in the production of refined grains.

Salt. We all learned about this one in baby chemistry class -- sodium chloride -- and most of us have it in the kitchen. I still found the Wikipedia definition interesting: Salt is a dietary mineral essential for animal life. Salt flavor is one of the basic tastes, and salt is the most popular food seasoning and a key preservative. Salt is also the only rock eaten by humans.

The only rock eaten by humans? Hmmm ... I was not aware of that.

Cornmeal. From Wikipedia: flour ground from dried corn. Steel ground yellow cornmeal has the husk and germ of the maize kernel almost completely removed. Stone ground cornmeal retains some of the hull and germ, lending a little more flavor and nutrition to recipes.

Mono- and diglycerides. These came up on the list of ingredients in my previous analysis of Coffee-mate creamer.

To review the definitions, a monoglyceride consists of one fatty acid chain covalently bonded to a glycerol molecule through an ester linkage. A diglyceride consists of two fatty acid chains covalently bonded to a glycerol molecule through ester linkages. Both are common food additives used to blend together certain ingredients, such as oil and water. They can come from either animal or vegetable, derived primarily from soybean and canola oil. They may also be synthetically produced.

So as I mentioned in the coffee creamer post, I have no idea whether I am eating a real or synthetic product in these bagels, nor where these mono- and diglycerides come from.

Preservatives (Calcium propionate, sorbic acid). First, here’s how Wikipedia defines preservative: a natural or synthetic chemical that is added to products such as foods, pharmaceuticals, paints, biological samples, wood, etc. to prevent decomposition by microbial growth or by undesirable chemical changes.

The ingredient label on the bagels lists two preservatives specifically. The first, calcium propionate is defined as the calcium salt of propionic acid. Okay, so what’s propionic acid? It is a naturally-occurring carboxylic acid, which in its pure state is a colorless, corrosive liquid with a pungent odor.

Um … corrosive liquid with a pungent odor? I’m not sure if I feel comfortable putting such a thing in my body.

The other preservative listed, sorbic acid, is a natural organic compound used as a food preservative. Sorbic acid and its mineral salts are antimicrobial agents often used as preservatives in food and drinks to prevent the growth of mold, yeast and fungi.

Guar gum. Guar gum, also called guaran, is primarily the ground endosperm of guar beans. The guar bean is an annual legume grown mostly in India.

DATEM. I added all caps to this one because it is actually an acronym, for Di-Acetyl Tartaric Ester of Monoglyceride. It is an emulsifier primarily used in baking to strengthen the dough by building a strong gluten network.

Citric acid. If you eat citrus fruits, such as oranges, you’re familiar with citric acid. It is defined as a weak organic acid. It is a natural preservative and is also used to add an acidic, or sour, taste to foods and soft drinks.

Maltodextrin. From Wikipedia: a polysaccharide used as a food additive. Maltodextrin is easily digestible, being absorbed as rapidly as glucose. Maltodextrin can be derived from any starch, usually rice, corn or potato in the U.S.

If you type this term into Wikipedia, you are redirected to an entry for dextrin, which is way too full of long chemical names. This disturbs me a little. I shouldn’t have to work that hard to understand what I’m eating.

Algin. Wikipedia redirects you to the entry for alginic acid, which is a viscous gum that is abundant in the cell walls of brown algae.

What? I’m eating algae!?! Eeeewww!

Soy lecithin. Wikipedia defines lecithin as any of a group of yellow-brownish fatty substances occurring in animal and plant tissues, and in egg yolk. Lecithin is an integral part of cell membranes, and can be totally metabolized. There are studies that show soy-derived lecithin has significant effects on lowering cholesterol and triglyceride, while increasing HDL ("good cholesterol") levels in the blood.

Okay, so this ingredient doesn’t sound quite as bad as some of the others.

Soy flour (trivial amount). Wikipedia takes you to the main entry on soy. If you scroll down, you see this: Soy flour refers to defatted soybeans where special care was taken during desolventizing (not toasted) in order to minimize denaturation of the protein.

I found that a little confusing, so I went to Soy Foods. It says soy flour is made from roasted soybeans that have been ground into a fine powder. Rich in high-quality protein and other nutrients, soy flour also adds a pleasant texture and flavor to a variety of products.

So, what's my verdict after examining all of these ingredients? Some of them aren't so bad, but there are some other strange things in these bagels that make me think twice about eating too many of them. My habit has been to eat half a wheat bagel covered with natural peanut butter (which has one ingredient: peanuts) for breakfast. Perhaps I'll try instead oats. That is, plain oats from the big canister, not the packaged, flavored stuff. The ingredients in oats? Whole grain rolled oats. Simple and pure.

Do you eat bagels? Check the ingredient list and see if any of these show up in the brand you eat. What do you think, now that you know what some of them are?

How do you handle emotionally unhealthy people?

In my previous post, I highlighted some of the traits of emotionally unhealthy people, and discussed how 20 percent of the people in your life can take 80 percent of your time and emotionally energy.

In this post, I’ll talk about some of the strategies I’ve used for dealing with the emotionally unhealthy people in my life.

A healthy life includes emotional balance, and emotionally unhealthy people can throw off that balance before you know it. If you arm yourself with a few of these strategies -- or others that you have come up with -- you'll have a much better chance of keeping your own emotions in check.

The best strategy for dealing with an emotionally unhealthy person is to minimize contact with them, or if you can, cut contact altogether. Don't force yourself to interact with the emotionally unhealthy person any more than necessary.

However, if we could always use that strategy, there would be no need to defend ourselves against emotionally unhealthy people, would there? That would be too easy.

Here are some others for those times when you are forced to deal with these types of people.

• Minimize their influence in your life. Put them in a little box in your mind. They belong there, and only there. Don't let them sneak into other parts of your life.


• Let them have all the attention they want. Or at least, pretend to. If you are in the same room with an attention hog, it may be best to just let them have it. If you try to compete with them, you'll likely just escalate the situation. Keep your facial expression polite and neutral, nod or comment when appropriate, but don't give them anymore than that. Believe me, if they are an attention-seeker, they'll fill in the rest.


• Seek respect elsewhere. If you know an emotionally unhealthy person who expects, or perhaps even demands, respect from you, but doesn't return it, realize you are never going to get the respect you deserve from them. Don't beat your head against the wall about it or let it upset you. Seek someone else out with whom you can form a respectful relationship.


• Don't argue with them, even if you know they are wrong, and even if they are treading in your domain of expertise. If you know their fear of failure or being wrong overrides their desire to learn from you or find the correct solution, arguing with them is a bad idea. It just makes both of you angry, and it won't solve anything.


• Along with the strategy above, if the emotionally unhealthy person in your life is a know-it-all, let them show off. If it's clear they are not going to learn from you, or anyone else, don't waste your energy trying. Find someone you can influence and concentrate your efforts on them. It will be much more rewarding.


• If they are the type who asks for your ideas then argues with or rejects them, don't expend a lot of energy trying to come up with the best or most original ideas. If you are asked to give a list of ideas to your boss, unfortunately, you have to do it, but you don't have to give all of your effort. Just give enough to satisfy his or her request, and no more.


• If they ask you a question, but don't really take the time to listen to you, give them short answers. When they ask something like, "How's work going?" don't launch into a long, detailed explanation that you know they are going to interrupt anyway. Just answer with something like, "Oh, about the same as usual. You know how it is." Then let them take over the conversation again, just like they would have anyway.


• Establish your boundaries and stick to them. If you work with someone who wants to get more personal than you wish, you are under no obligation to respond. Even if it's a boss, you can say, "That's a boundary issue, and I'm not comfortable discussing it."


• Have another outlet. Find another person or place where you can express yourself the way you want, such as a partner, a blog or a hobby. If you find another outlet to express yourself, it makes it easier to get through your encounters with the emotionally unhealthy person because you are not dependent on them for your own self-esteem and expression.


• Shut the person out of your mind once you are away from them. Don't get away from the emotionally unhealthy person after a peaceful encounter, then spend the next two hours ranting and raving about them. This can be difficult not to do, as you may have pent-up emotions that you have been holding back all day, but the emotionally unhealthy person doesn't deserve that much of your mental energy. If you must vent, pick three things you want to say about the person, say those things, then move on.


• Do something for yourself. It will help restore your emotional balance if you have something planned for yourself after your encounter with the emotionally unhealthy person. You'll feel much better!


These strategies have helped me survive when dealing with emotionally unhealthy people, and perhaps they can help you, too.

What strategies do you use for dealing with emotionally unhealthy people? I'd like to hear them!

Emotionally unhealthy people can hurt you

I am lucky enough to have many wonderful people in my life who love and support me. My husband, my family, most of my co-workers and most of my friends don't really give me cause for complaint.

But there are those few people in my life with whom I don't think I'll ever be able to establish a healthy, mature relationship. For a long time, I wondered if it was me, but after observing them with other people, I think it's them. I don't think they are able to have a healthy adult relationship with anyone.

Why? Because they are what I call emotionally unhealthy. They are the people who react in strange and unexpected ways to you simply being yourself, leaving you quite unsure of what just happened.

If you’re trying to live a healthy life – one that includes self-examination, learning and growth – these emotionally unhealthy people can harm it by causing you extra stress, draining your mental energy and screwing up your emotional state.

It's like the Pareto principle, also known as the 80-20 rule, which says that for many events, 80 percent of the effects come from 20 percent of the causes. When applied to the people in your life, it means that 80 percent of your emotional stress comes from 20 percent of the people. Consequently, 80 percent of your time and energy also goes into managing and dealing with that 20 percent.

I've had some experiences with emotionally unhealthy people, and they certainly cause 80 percent of my mental stress. Here are some of the unhealthy traits they can show.

• They have to be the center of attention. Sometimes they become childish and petulant if they don’t feel like people are paying attention to them.


• They seek acceptance and respect, but they don't return it.


• They have to win an argument at all costs, sometimes even saying things that are “below the belt” to do so.


• They are know-it-alls. They have to show what they know, but don’t let you contribute your knowledge.


• They always have to be right.


• They ask for your ideas, then argue with them.


• They want to influence you, but won't let you influence them.


• They ask you a question, but then don't take the time to listen to your answer. As soon as they think of something else to say, they interrupt.


• They change the rules. As soon as you think you’ve established something about them and learned how to deal with them, they change on you, leaving you confused.


• They have bad boundaries. They either use you to fulfill some emotional need that is outside the purview of the relationship, or they take everything you do and say personally and make it about them.

If you have people in your life with these traits, instead of allowing them affect you in unhealthy ways, you need to devise strategies for putting boundaries on them so they don’t suck away your mental energy and harm your emotional well-being.

In my next post, I’ll explore some of the strategies I’ve used for dealing with the emotionally unhealthy people in my life.

Do you have emotionally unhealthy people in your life? In what ways do they harm you? What traits do they show?

Coffee creamer: What's really in it?

They say you are what you eat. If that's the case, I've been inspired to examine the ingredients in some of the items I eat or drink on a regular basis.

This inspiration comes from a couple of other blog posts I've read recently. Scott Kustes of Modern Forager urges us to eat real food, and Mark Sisson of Mark's Daily Apple discusses foods that contain high fructose corn syrup.

After reading these posts, I caught myself looking at the ingredient labels of various foods around my kitchen. I feel like I do pretty well with focusing my diet on vegetables, fruits and meats. For the most part, I stay away from too much processed or high-fat foods. But in our highly-processed world, it’s hard not to let a few creep into my kitchen.

But still, these posts made me wonder if I was doing all I could to help my body be healthier. Sure, I keep the fat and carbs pretty low, but what about all that weird stuff in my foods that I can't pronounce? As Scott says, real food doesn't need an ingredient label.

So what about the ingredient labels on the foods I eat? I plan for this to be an occasional series of posts where I'll take one of the foods in my diet and try to define as many of the ingredients as I can. And then see what I can do about decreasing my intake of those foods or eliminating them altogether.

First, I'll take on coffee creamer, specifically Coffee-mate Original powdered creamer. The reason I pick this one (and here's the disclaimer so the folks at Coffee-mate don't get mad at me) is because I put it in my coffee at work, five days a week.

First let's look at the nutrition facts. As you can see in the nutrition label, which I've pulled from Coffee-mate's Web site, a serving size is 1 teaspoon, and it has 10 calories, 0.5 grams of total fat -- all of which is saturated -- and not much else in the way of nutrients.


All of this comes from the ingredients, which I will look at in the order in which they are listed.

Corn syrup solids. From Wikipedia: Corn syrup is a syrup, made using cornstarch as a feedstock, and composed mainly of glucose. … Its major use is in commercially-prepared foods as a thickener and for its moisture-retaining (humectant) properties which keep foods moist and help to maintain freshness.

I further found an entry on The Fit Shack that says corn syrup solids are manufactured from corn syrup liquid through a process that removes 97 percent of the water from the liquid.

Vegetable oil (partially hydrogenated coconut or palm kernel, hydrogenated soybean). From Wikipedia: Vegetable fats and oils are substances derived from plants that are composed of triglycerides.

As for the “partially hydrogenated” part, Wikipedia says: Triglyceride-based vegetable fats and oils can be transformed through partial or complete hydrogenation into fats and oils of higher melting point. The hydrogenation process involves "sparging" the oil at high temperature and pressure with hydrogen in the presence of a catalyst, typically a powdered nickel compound. … Partial hydrogenation results in the formation of trans fats, which have increasingly been viewed as unhealthy since the 1970s.

So, by ingesting this coffee creamer, I’m drinking nickel compounds and trans fats. That doesn’t sound healthy.

Sodium Caseinate (a milk derivative). If you search for this term, Wikipedia redirects you to an entry for casien: Casein (from Latin caseus "cheese") is the predominant phosphoprotein that accounts for nearly 80 percent of proteins in milk and cheese. … Casein is often listed as sodium caseinate, calcium caseinate or milk protein.

I have to wonder why a product described on Coffee-mate’s own Web site as “The original rich and deliciously creamy non-dairy creamer” has a milk derivative in it. I am not lactose-intolerant myself, but what does such a product do to people who are?

Dipotassium phosphate (moderates coffee acidity). From Wikipedia: Dipotassium phosphate -- also phosphoric acid, dipotassium salt; dipotassium hydrogen orthophosphate; potassium phosphate, dibasic -- is a highly water-soluble salt which is often used as a fertilizer, food additive and buffering agent. It is a common source of phosphorus and potassium.

So I’m putting a product that is also used as a fertilizer in my coffee? Ick!

Mono- and diglycerides (prevents oil separation). This requires a search for two different terms on Wikipedia: A monoglyceride, more correctly known as a monoacylglycerol, is a glyceride consisting of one fatty acid chain covalently bonded to a glycerol molecule through an ester linkage.

A diglyceride, or a diacylglycerol (DAG), is a glyceride consisting of two fatty acid chains covalently bonded to a glycerol molecule through ester linkages. … Mono- and diacylglycerols are common food additives used to blend together certain ingredients, such as oil and water, which would not otherwise blend well. … The commercial source may be either animal (cow- or hog-derived) or vegetable, derived primarily from soy bean and canola oil. They may also be synthetically produced.

So I have no idea where the mono- and diglycerides in this particular creamer came from. Are they real? Synthetic? Also, if oil and water weren’t meant to blend together, should we be forcing them to do so?

Sodium aluminosilicate. From Wikipedia: Sodium aluminosilicate, also referred to as sodium silicoaluminate, is a chemical with the formula AlNa12SiO5 and CAS 1344-00-9. It is an aluminosilicate compound with sodium cations, taking the form of a white crystalline solid.

All this definition told me is that sodium silicoaluminate is an aluminosilicate compound. No, really?! I had figured out that much from looking at the word. So I clicked on the term aluminosilicate and found this: Aluminosilicate minerals are minerals composed of aluminium, silicon, and oxygen.

I’m still not sure this tells me anything. And since I’m not sure what it is, I would rather not put it in my body.

Artificial flavor. Note that the ingredient list does not say what this artificial flavor entails. But if you type the term “artificial flavor” into Wikipedia, you are redirected to the entry on flavor, and specifically to the part about flavor creation, where you read this: Most food and beverage companies do not create their own flavors but instead employ the services of a flavor company. … The flavor creation is done by a specially trained scientist called a "flavorist." The flavorist's job combines extensive scientific knowledge of the chemical palette with artistic creativity to develop new and distinctive flavors.

Hmmm … so a flavorist has decided now my creamer should taste, and has added who-knows-what to it. So, again, I have no idea exactly what I am putting into my body.

Annatto color. From Wikipedia: Annatto, sometimes called Roucou, is a derivative of the achiote trees of tropical regions of the Americas, used to produce a red food coloring and also as a flavoring. Annatto is produced from the reddish pulp which surrounds the seed of the achiote.

This last ingredient doesn’t sound too bad. At least it comes from a natural fruit. But the entry does say it can cause allergies in some people. Personally, I can take it or leave it.

So what's my verdict after defining all of these ingredients? I'm not so sure I really need that creamer in my coffee. In fact, for the past few days, I've been leaving it out of my coffee. There is a little more bitterness to the coffee’s taste, but it's something I can get used to, especially if it means leaving these unnatural ingredients out of my body.

I consider the loss of coffee creamer a worthy sacrifice to live a healthy life.

So how do you take your coffee? Creamer? Milk? Black? Will knowing what these ingredients are change your mind about putting powdered creamer in your coffee?

Defending my healthy choices

On my recent vacation to Washington, D.C., I had endured a turbulent airplane landing, my stomach was upset, and I didn't want anything greasy or fried.

All I wanted was a salad. Only crisp, cool, soothing vegetables and salad dressing would do it.

I wasn’t trying to make a point or show off how healthy I was being. I just wanted a salad.

However, one of my travel companions commented on my salad. As she ate her hamburger and fries, she explained how she didn’t like salads because they took so much work to cut up and so long to eat.

There have been times when I have been a little offended when someone feels the need to point out, or even put down, my choice to have a salad. Luckily, that day, I was too hungry to care what she thought. I simply nodded at her and kept eating. And boy, was it tasty. It was just what I needed to fill my stomach and settle it down.

But later, when I reflected on it, it made me wonder if my action made her feel guilty in some way. I can see why my action might have been interpreted as some sort of example or statement, especially if she somehow felt she hadn’t made the best choice for herself.

I’ve had other occasions when people feel the need to point out my choices of salads, fresh or steamed vegetables or fresh fruit.

It is at times like this when I call upon the nine qualities of a healthy life, which I wrote about in my last post.

Since I was not feeling good as a result of the air turbulence and not having any food in my stomach, I tuned in to what my body needed, and I was honest about it. I needed pure foods, not grease or fat.

I also called on my defiance. Although those hamburgers and french fries looked really good, and it would have been easy to say, "I'll have them because everyone else is," I did not give in.

I also was defensive. Not with words, because I was too busy stuffing lettuce into my mouth. But I was defensive with my actions. The fact that my response to her comments was to simply keep eating what I had chosen was my message that I was confident in my choice.

In most cases, I’m not trying to be self-righteous or snobby in my healthy choices. I’m simply doing what I feel is best for myself. If others wish to take an example from it, that’s fine. If they wish to comment on my choices in an effort to defend their own, that's when remembering the nine qualities comes in handy.

If you want to make a healthy food choice, you should do so, no matter how it makes other people feel. What's important is how it makes you feel.

Maybe, just maybe, if you are seen as an example of what it means to be healthy, it will make a difference for someone around you. If you can influence just one person with your good choices, you have done your part to make the world just a little healthier.

And if you can't, well then, you can still influence yourself. And that's what really matters.

What examples do you have of times people commented on something you were eating? How did it make you feel? How did you respond? Leave me a comment!

Nine qualities it takes to live a healthy life

What does it take to live a healthy life? Why are some people able to maintain a healthy lifestyle while others just can’t quite seem to stay on track?

I have always wondered this. After all, I’m not really all that special. I’m just an average woman who tries to eat as healthy as I can and exercise on a regular basis. Why am I able to stick with a healthy lifestyle while other people I know are not?

So I thought about that for a few minutes, and I came up with a list of qualities I think it takes to life a healthy life and stick to it.

First, you have to have a desire to be as healthy as you can be. But desire is not all it takes. I know many people who want to be healthier, but they just can’t seem to start in the first place or stay with it.

So it also takes dedication and commitment. It takes a mindset to consider healthy living a lifelong choice, not just a temporary thing.

It also takes a lot of honesty, mostly with yourself. You have to be willing to look at your life and your habits critically, and be willing to admit when you are not doing something as well as you could be. You have to be willing to not make excuses for the areas that need improvement, and you have to be willing to change.

You also have to possess enough courage to embark on a healthy path and stick with it. This is especially essential if you have a lot of changes to make. If you are eating a lot of unhealthy foods now and not exercising at all, or if you need to lose a lot of weight, you’ll have to tap into the courage to tell your family and friends – and yourself – that you want to be better, that you want to make some changes. You may have to find the courage to stand up to those who ask why you are doing it or tell you that you can’t do it. You have to find the courage to tell yourself over and over that it’s worth it.

Living a healthy life also takes just a little bit of defiance – the defiance to do what you need to do even when others don’t. I would, however, advise you to keep your defiance to yourself. It’s not a good idea to criticize your friends’ choice of foods; otherwise they won’t be your friends for very long. Simply go for your healthy choice, no matter what they may choose.

You also have to defy all our societal messages for easy, fast foods. Healthy foods are not easy, nor are they fast. I spend quite a bit of time each week slicing my greens and vegetables for my salad. I do so because I am defying the easy path – which would be to go out for a hamburger and french fries.

Along with defiance, a good quality to have to live a healthy life is a bit of defensiveness. In an ideal world, you shouldn’t have to defend or explain yourself. But people will ask why you are eating a salad when everyone else is having pizza or why you don’t want a piece of chocolate cake. And you need to be prepared to answer, strongly and honestly.

Another important quality for living a healthy life is compassion and forgiveness toward yourself. You won’t always be perfect. There will be times when the right foods won’t be available to you, or you just won’t have the will to pass up that huge slab of chocolate cake. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up, consider yourself a failure or give up on your healthy lifestyle just because of one piece of chocolate cake. Vow to do better next time.

Living a healthy lifestyle also takes a willingness to grow, learn and change. Your body’s needs will change over time. What you need to maintain your weight in your 20s and 30s may not be what you need in your 40s and 50s and beyond. Health and nutrition experts are also constantly uncovering new information. You need to always be finding and learning new health and nutrition information so you can look at it critically and apply it to your life. You’ll need to make adjustments, but once you have a healthy foundation in place, it’s not so hard to tweak it here and there.

Finally, you need the perseverance to stick with a healthy lifestyle over the long haul. You’re not just doing it for this week, this month or this year. You’re doing this for your whole life. You will need to constantly renew your commitment and remind yourself why it’s important to you.

Living a healthy life is the most important thing you can do, not only for yourself, but also for your family and friends. If you can tap into some of these qualities, you stand a much better chance of getting healthy and staying that way.

These are the qualities that help me. What qualities would you add to the list that have helped you or someone you know life a healthy life? Leave me a comment!

Do you want your kids to be healthy? Show them how!

When I was a kid, I didn't have carbonated soft drinks or potato chips very often, and desserts after dinner were not a given.

"Oh, you poor thing!" you might exclaim. "Did you never get anything good to eat?"

Yes, I did. All the time. My mother made me eat my fruits and vegetables. And today, I thank her for it.

Because of her early lessons in what was "good" for me to eat and what wasn't, I have formed lifelong habits that keep me healthy today.

If I wanted a snack when I came home from school, I reached for a piece of fruit. Dinners were rounded out with meat, potatoes or rice and vegetables – and we had to eat a little bit of everything. Our drink with dinner? Milk.

We did have desserts, soft drinks and chips, but they were reserved for weekends and other special occasions.

Because of this, I learned how to eat right. I learned like nutrient-dense foods and what they do for my health. I also learned that it's OK to have junk food sometimes -- as long as it's kept in perspective as a treat and not as a diet staple.

An article here says helping kids lead healthy lifestyles begins with parents who lead by example.

Poor eating habits are often established during childhood, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). More than 60 percent of young people eat too much fat, and less than 20 percent eat the recommended five or more servings of fruits and vegetables each day, according to this article.

I think there’s a lot of truth to that. Because of the examples my parents set for me, I learned to think about my food choices and eat foods for their nutritional value.

I’ve known other people who are examples of the opposite – because of the habits they learned, they don’t eat so healthy as adults.

Someone I knew several years ago in college had a mother who would fix him his own meal every day, giving him total control over what he wanted to eat. She didn’t force him to eat anything he didn’t want to. The result? A very picky eater who ate nothing but junk food and didn't want to try anything new. I don’t even want to imagine what his blood sugar and cholesterol numbers are like now.

A family I know has two overweight parents – and their three kids are on their way to being overweight. In the past couple years, they have tried to make some changes as a family, and I wish them the best of luck. If this family is going to change their kids’ lifestyle habits, they’d better do it now. Their oldest child is a teenager, and as she gets older, her eating habits will be more and more difficult to change.

I’ve also worked with people who make the same New Year’s resolution year after year – to eat better and lose weight. They start off great, but by March, if not sooner, they’re back to their old habits, claiming they “just can’t give up” their hamburgers, pizza and beer. I’ve also seen people who eat for comfort, not for nutrition, and they stay fat because of it.

So, I appeal to the parents. Your kids will learn from you. Sometimes, they will learn only too well. You want to prepare them for a successful future in terms of education and career, don’t you? What about a successful future for their health? Set them on the right health path, and they’ll be more likely to live a long life so they can enjoy their other successes.

What kind of health example are you setting? Think about it.

11 ways to keep sweets at the office from ruining your healthy diet

Are you committed to healthy eating and limiting your intake of sweets, but work in an office where there are many occasions to eat cake and cookies?

If it seems like your officemates want a cake every time someone has a birthday, leaves the company, graduates from school, or any other occasion they can dream up, you might find yourself in a dilemma. You have to strike a balance between not being too self-righteous about your healthy habits, which might make you look snobby and non-participative, and not letting all of the sweets ruin your weight and your health.

This can be even more difficult to navigate if these parties are the boss's idea. You might feel even more pressure to eat dessert in order to show your appreciation or to avoid offending the boss.

What do you do?

I've been in this situation many times, and I've come up with a few strategies that have worked so far.

I'm full from lunch.
This especially works well if the party occurs soon after lunch. Simply claim that you are full. It is even more effective if you rub your stomach, groan and bulge your eyes slightly, as if you can't possibly eat another bite. If your co-workers pressure you, you can put them off by saying, "I'll have a piece later." Then just don't get any. Once everyone goes back to work, they won't notice you.

I have an errand that I must get done today.
If you are trying to eat healthy, but your department has scheduled a pizza lunch, this strategy works. Just before everyone gathers together, jump up with a worried look on your face, grab your purse and tell a co-worker that you have to handle something urgent, and could they please let the boss know you'll be back as soon as possible. Then run out the door. Of course, your "urgent" errand is to go out somewhere for a nice salad. Or, if you bring your lunch, have it stored in your car and sit outside and eat.

Take advantage of chaos
If you are attending a company-wide lunch party where there are many people and many conversations going on, your co-workers are much less likely to notice what you eat. If it's a pot luck event where everyone has brought a dish, you may not know what's in them, but it's simple enough to choose dishes that emphasize vegetables and de-emphasize creamy sauces. And if you skip the sweets altogether, your dessert-less plate will get lost in the crowd.

Take advantage of the meeting
If cake is served during a meeting, politely accept a piece and set it further away from you than your notepad. Then, pay really close attention to the meeting and take lots of notes. If you're busy writing, you can't eat! Then, when the meeting is over, you can do one of two things with that cake. You can say, "Gosh, I really have to get on this task. I don't have time to eat this. Do you want it?" and offer it to someone. Or, you can take it back to your desk and promise to eat it while you work, then allow it to quietly make its way into your trash can.

Strategically timed bathroom break
This one works if the cake is being served at the end of a meeting. When the meeting leader calls for a break and people start to get the cake and plates out, sneak out to the bathroom. Stay there for a few minutes. By the time you come back in, the cake server will be eating their own piece, and you might just be able to hang out in the back of the room or sneak back to your seat without anyone making a big deal out of the fact that you don't have a piece.

Let everyone else get a piece first
This works especially well if the dessert is a small cake or a cookie cake, where it looks like there might not be quite enough for everyone. Just say, "I'm not sure I want any. I'll let everyone else get some, then I might take a piece if there's any left." Chances are good that the cake will be gone by the time everyone else gets theirs, which solves your problem. Or the person who asked you will be distracted by their own cake and forget that you don't have a piece.

OK, maybe just a little piece.
You can kick this one in if you have tried the other refusal strategies and they just haven't worked. If the well-meaning co-worker serving the cake insists that you have some, politely accept it. While holding your plate and talking to someone, eat three or four bites slowly. Then, when no one is looking, set it aside on a table.

Ask for half a piece.
If you just can't get out of having a piece, or if you have decided that you can indulge just a little, ask the cake server to cut your slice in half. Then eat it slowly. Chances are, you won't want to go back for more, and no one will say anything more to you about it.

Eat a healthy snack beforehand
If the cake party is a few hours after lunch, when you are more likely to have the late-afternoon munchies and think you might be persuaded to indulge despite your good intentions, eat a healthy snack first. A piece of fruit, a handful of nuts or a carton of yogurt will take the edge off your appetite and help you withstand the pressure.

Simple refusal
It is okay to simply refuse, saying, "No, thanks, I don't want any." If you feel comfortable saying this without offending your co-workers or the boss, this is the most honest and straightforward strategy. If a co-worker persists, simply repeat yourself. They can't force cake down your throat.

Alternate
A good way to strike the balance between being a non-participating health snob and ruining your diet with the weekly cake-fest is to alternate. If you refused the last time, take a slice of cake this time. This can be used in conjunction with the "OK, maybe just a little piece" or "Ask for half a piece" strategies to minimize the damage to your waist.

It seems like every time I turn around, cake or other desserts are being served at my workplace. With a little preparation and the strategies above, so far I've been successful at keeping extra weight off while keeping the goodwill of my co-workers.

Does your workplace have sweets often? What strategies do you have for staying away from the desserts?

‘One of the boys’? I don’t think so!

In response to my series of posts last week about why women should do pushups, I received the following comment from a reader:

“Being like one of the boys is alright if you are one of the boys. However, I have noticed that when women work out on heavy exercises (the type that men normally do), their body starts to change and take on the muscle size and look of men! If a woman wants to compete with the men at all cost, I guess the heavy exercise is the thing for those
women to do. However, running or similar exercises can be done where women are healthy, but still look like a woman!”

And so, as a woman does strength training and advocates for other women to do so, I just couldn’t let this one pass without addressing it. I have to do my part to correct the misconception that women can’t or shouldn’t lift weights.

First, let’s look at some evidence from Women Fitness, a Web site run by a group of experts, all of which have impressive credentials and backgrounds.

They give a list of top 10 misconceptions on bodybuilding, which I encourage you to check out. They’re all good arguments, but number seven on their list is pertinent to my post here:

Female bodybuilders are trying to turn themselves into men
“This couldn’t be further from the truth. If anything, women that transform their physiques are attempting to become better women, not men. I attribute this thinking to a society that continues to be disturbed by their level of physical development due to commonly held misconceptions of gender and being unable (or unwilling) to separate an athletic pursuit from a woman’s sexuality. Some will always see female athletes in sexual terms and use them explain what they don’t understand. If a woman with muscle is more of a man, is a man without muscle more of a woman?”

Sounds logical to me. And expert enough for me to accept. I especially like the final question. It drives the point home.

Kathleen Ekdahl, a certified fitness instructor and personal trainer with more than 12 years experience in fitness and a background in clinical research and cardiovascular medicine, offers this on The New England Wellness Web:

"Women, in particular, see tremendous benefits from strength training. Traditionally, women relied on cardiovascular activity and a low calorie diet to change their physical appearance. Unfortunately, low calorie diets merely punish the soul and plummet the metabolism, and, without including consistent strength training in our program, effecting change can be an impossible goal. Also, aerobically overtraining can lead to injury. We now know that strength training is absolutely essential if we wish to create visual changes in our bodies, and we've discovered that the benefits of strength training extend far beyond the visual."

This effectively rebuts my anonymous reader’s opinion that women should do running exercises, but not “heavy exercises.”

My next piece of evidence also rebuts this opinion. It’s from Health World, Strength Training for Women, by Wayne L. Westcott, Ph.D. He says:

"There is essentially no difference between men and women with respect to exercise technique, training procedures or strength development. ...
You may have heard that women should not do strength exercise for one of the following reasons.

1. Strength training makes women too muscular and bulky.


2. Strength training is a waste of time for women because they are not capable of developing strong muscles.


3. Strength training is dangerous for women because their bodies are not designed to exercise with resistance.

Of course, none of these reasons is valid and such misinformation is incorrect. Actually, very few women have the genetic potential or enough natural testosterone to develop large muscles. Firm, fit, functional muscles, yes -- large muscles, no.

Women who do not strength train lose about five pounds of muscle every decade of adult life. That leads to a lower metabolism and a gradual increase in fat weight (about 15 pounds per decade), as well as a less fit, firm and attractive appearance.”

I don’t want to lost muscle, nor gain fat weight as I age if I can help it, so I intend to keep lifting those weights.

I have been going to a gym now for several years, and I haven’t turned into a man yet. All of my woman parts and female functions are still quite intact.

That’s me in the photo. Proof that I am not a man, even though I lift weights.

If my anonymous reader simply doesn’t like the toned look of women who lift weights, that’s okay. We all have our opinions and preferences. If it’s an issue of attractiveness, I’m not worried about that, either. I am happily married, and my husband has no complaints whatsoever about my fit body.

However, if people with opinions like my anonymous reader spread them around and use them to discourage women from being as strong and healthy as they can be, then that’s what hurts us.

Ladies, we can’t let them hold us back.

Have you ever been discouraged, or heard of a woman being discouraged from strength training? What was the person’s argument? How did you handle it? I’m curious. Let me know.

Real women do pushups part 3: The benefits

This week I've advocated for women to do pushups, and I've given some reviews of videos on YouTube to watch for instruction on how to do pushups.

But I haven't yet discussed why pushups are good for women.

The reason is simple: They offer several benefits that give you more strength to do the activities you do every day.

Pushups are efficient, and they are cheap because you can do them almost anywhere.

However, they are not easy! It does take time and dedication to train yourself to be able to do them -- and do them properly -- but the benefits are worth it.

What are the benefits for women to do pushups?

According to Megafitnesscenter.com, pushups offer the advantages of stretching, weightlifting and cardiovascular all in one exercise. "Apart from increasing upper body strength, a pushup workout program, when pursued properly, also develops abdominal and hip stability. This leads to a more balanced upper and lower body as well as good shoulder, trunk and hip movements," the site says.

Lifestyle Lounge offers these points:

• Pushups proffer the benefits of stretching, weightlifting and cardiovascular exercise as well.


• It also helps to get more toned shoulders, trunk, butt, upper and lower body.


• Pushup exercise, if pursued rightly, increases upper body strength and brings about more abdominal and hip stability.


• A workout program of pushups works on large number of muscle groups and helps to retain whole body fitness.


• It actively works the chest, triceps and deltoids together with stretching of back and the biceps.


• Undoubtedly, pushup is the best exercise for the chest, but it is a great exercise for the abdominal and lower back muscles. Besides all of the above, it works for the quadriceps too.

How do all of these benefits translate to everyday life?

Here are some ways doing pushups and other upper-body exercises have helped me.

I do the grocery shopping, and I have three cats. Thus, it falls to me to buy cat litter and cat food. I am strong enough to lift a 20-pound bag of cat litter and a 25-pound bag of cat food from a low grocery shelf and into my bascart without strain.

Are you a cat or dog owner? Can you lift big bags of food or litter? Wouldn't it be great if you could?

I am doing a gardening project in my backyard. This has involved transplanting several boxwood bushes. I have no trouble wielding the shovel to dig a hole, then dig the tree up and carry it across the yard to where I want it. Those bushes aren't the lightest things in the world, either!

Neither is a bag of soil. Have you ever tried to carry one across the yard? It’s much easier to lift or drag it where you need it with some strength in your arms, shoulders and core.

Gardening is a popular hobby, and I'll bet many of you do it in some form. Gardening requires a good amount of lifting, bending and stretching. How well are you able to perform your gardening tasks?

My husband and I have moved more times than I care to count, and since I have worked out at the gym and started doing pushups, I have been able to lift or help lift heavy boxes and furniture. It feels great to be able to pick up and move a 20- or 30-pound box and carry it myself without strain. As you might expect, I was sore the day after the move, but not injured. I knew my muscles would heal, and they did.

For those of you who have kids, upper body strength can help you lift them. Many times, if I see small children beg their mothers to lift them and carry them, one of two things will happen. The mom will tell the child, "I'm sorry, honey, I can't lift you. You're too heavy." Or the mom will lift the child using her back, not her core, legs and arms. (Perhaps proper lifting technique should be the subject of a future post!)

I've only seen one example of a mother who squatted down and lifted her child using her legs and arms. She had well-toned arms and shoulders. I'll bet she does a few pushups or other upper body exercises!

If you're a mother, wouldn't you like to be able to lift your child without fear of injuring yourself? Yes, they will eventually be too big for you to lift, but wouldn't it be great to lift and cuddle them close to you just a little longer?

Do pushups, and you can!

Real women do pushups, part 2: Video reviews

After my previous post urging women to do pushups, I started looking around YouTube to see if I could find some good videos that showed fit females demonstrating full pushups -- that is, on the hands and toes.

It's harder than I thought, but not impossible.

The first ones I stumbled on were several videos of buff bodybuilder women with huge muscles showing one-armed pushups, pushups with men on their backs and other feats of strength.

No, no, that's not what I'm going for. Too intimidating for us average women who just want to strengthen our upper bodies.

Then I found a couple that encouraged women to stay on their knees while doing pushups.

No, no, that's not right, either. We can do better than that!

I also had to wade through the videos of women taping themselves and posting them to show off how many pushups they can do. These are great morale builders, but not so good for learning proper technique. You have to look at some of these videos with a skeptical eye because the person in the video may not be doing it right.

Overall, the videos I trust the most come from personal trainers. They know what they are talking about, and they know how to break down the movement so you can learn how to do it right.

So, without further ado, here are some of the videos I found and my critique of them. I'll start with the ones featuring females, then I'll highlight a couple of good ones with male instructors.


Push Ups - Correct Technique Discussed



This is a wonderful step-by-step instruction of proper pushup technique. It shows a still photograph of a female in the frame, with fitness trainer Liz Harper and her husband doing a voice-over. Liz uses a little yellow circle to point to each body part, and she analyzes how each part should be positioned and how it is affected.

This video is really easy to follow. The still photographs allow you a really good look at what a female body should look like when doing a pushup.


CrossFit Push-up Standards



I like this one because it shows a fit female named Annie doing proper pushup technique. The video shows two views, which helps you watch her form from two different perspectives. It also shows some examples of improper technique so you know what not to do. Pleasant music plays in the background.


Weekly Challenge - Pushups



This video is a nice example of a fit -- but not bodybuilder -- woman who can do pushups. This is a nice one to watch if you just want to see a woman who can do it. She varies her hand positions several times.

However, I don't recommend this video for technique. It advocates doing as many pushups as possible as fast as possible. This goes against other videos I have watched, and other things I have learned about fitness. Exercise is not about doing reps fast; it's about doing them right.


Women Only Boot Camp "Push up / Mtn Climber workout"



This is a good video of a female instructor doing full pushups in combination with mountain climbers, a difficult-looking leg exercise that I might just have to try.

This is what I would call an intermediate video. She starts off showing a couple of three-quarter (on the knees) pushups, then goes right into full pushups, and says, "You know the rules for pushups." So you should watch one of the beginner videos and learn the rules for pushups before you try hers.

I checked out several videos on her You Tube channel, and she has a lot of good exercises for women, but I did not see one explaining how to do full pushups at the beginner level. So I had to look elsewhere for that.


Push up, push-ups for Women and Men: BodySpex Fitness



This is a great video for complete beginners. This is a male instructor, but he does specifically address women. He also breaks down all of the components of a proper pushup.

I especially like the way he starts out instructing you to be on your toes, and he recommends getting strong enough to do full pushups as quickly as possible. He also shows you how to do them on your knees, and how to build the strength to transition from the knees to the toes.


Chest Workout: Pushups for the Complete Beginner



In this video, the instructor, Scooby, does a great job of breaking down pushups for the complete beginner. He doesn't specify whether he is talking to men or women, which is great. Ladies can get a lot out of the information in this video without being intimidated -- and so can men. Scooby gives both the three-quarter and the full variations, along with good tips on form and technique.

What do you think of these videos? Have you found any others on the Web? If so, send me the link!

Real women do pushups

I remember way back in freshman P.E. class when our teacher made us do pushups. The boys had to do full pushups – in the full plank position, on their hands and toes.

We girls were told to do pushups with our knees on the floor because it was easier.

At the time, I didn’t question it. I simply assumed girls were unable to perform full pushups like boys. At the time, I certainly couldn’t, and no one encouraged me to build my upper body strength any further.

That changed a couple years ago. By then, I had been going to the gym for a few years, and I had developed enough upper body strength through other exercises that I decided to try some full pushups. Luckily, I have a supportive husband who encouraged me to give them a try.

So I dropped to the floor, and lo and behold, I ripped through a couple sets. I was so proud of myself! Since then, I have made sure to do three sets of ten pushups on a regular basis.

You see, I have to keep up my bragging rights.

I proved to myself that women can do full pushups if they commit themselves to developing enough upper body strength to do so – and they can achieve this in adulthood, even if they weren't athletic in high school.

Since I have achieved this ability, I have noticed that I am one of the few females at my gym who does full pushups. Why is this? Why don’t more women do full pushups?

Kelly Mills lends some insight in a guest article to the San Francisco Chronicle that women don't do push ups because they think of them as a man exercise. “We leave the push-ups and the dumbbells and the bench presses to the dudes, as though we couldn't possibly do such macho exercises,” she says.

Kelly calls on every woman to do pushups. I echo her call.

Ladies, drop and give me twenty!

It may take time and practice, but if you want to achieve it, you can do full pushups on your toes eventually. “If doing them from your feet isn't possible yet, start on your knees and do as many as you can, keeping your core nice and tight and bringing your chest as close to the floor as possible,” Kelly says. That’s good advice.

As for how to transition to doing full pushups, Joni Hyde, a Certified Personal Trainer and owner of WorkoutsForWomen.com, says on a post on BlueSuitMom.com to do one straight-legged pushup, then two bent-knee pushups alternating back and forth for a total of 15 to 18 total pushups. Then next time, go for two straight-legged to every one bent-knee. Eventually, you will be able to do all straight-legged pushups.

I would like to add something to Kelly’s call for women do to pushups. Let’s quit calling them “girls” pushups and “guys” pushups. I prefer the terms “three-quarter” pushups if your knees are on the floor and “full” pushups if you are up on your toes.

That takes the sexism out of it. Maybe using non-sexist terminology will encourage more women to give full pushups a try. And, maybe it will make guys who can’t do full pushups (and there are probably quite a few of you out there) not feel like they are wimpy or inadequate. Everybody has to start somewhere.

Where do you stand on the pushup issue? Can you do them? Would you like to try? I’m asking both men and women. Leave me a comment!